i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
