So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
