No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
