question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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