she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
