We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
