if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
