This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize