Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
