To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well I just put wine in my tea
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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