Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i now understand why vodka
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
