How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
