I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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