where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
