this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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