is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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