I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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