It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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