I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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