yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
dude. I can hear the air.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
