Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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