God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize