I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize