ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
