FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
