were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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