It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
they're like a gay fantastic four
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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