Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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