FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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