That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
