dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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