Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
