I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
