I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
