By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm at about main and main street
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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