I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
