My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize