i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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