so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
