I want to stick my p in your. b.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
