I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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