Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
