I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
