This is not my ceiling
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
