It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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