Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
