well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
