OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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