there was a trapeze. enough said
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
