I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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