and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
