It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So vagazzling was a success
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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