I faked an abortion last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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