i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
