hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize