i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
