I am puke
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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