I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
