I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
