We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize