she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my poor anus
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
