no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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