WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
