you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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