just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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