I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
