Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
